Leave Gia Giudice Alone!

I was unable to write about Episode 5 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey yesterday because I’m trying for a level of objectivity here, but DAMN.

Episode 5 was a perfect example of why children should be kept off these shows. What has happened on the message boards and twitter was much worse than the Lauri Waring/ Josh Waring/ George Peterson debacle after Season 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County, when message boards were forced to change the way they do business because of the criticisms leveled at underage children. Because of the level of insanity targeting her children, Gina Peterson, George’s ex-wife, would not let her minor children be shown on Season 3, and has suffered for it every since.

I taught elementary school for 30 years. In that time, I’ve seen the way children and their relationships to adults has changed. Not touting myself as an expert, but I’ve seen plenty, especially since the advent of Facebook and Twitter.

It was wrong of Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita to corner an upset Gia Giudice like that, instead of just leaving her alone.  The 16 year old girl temper tantrum of yesterday is the 11 year old tantrum of today.  How dare they not get the girl’s mother and leave that child alone?

We truly get that Caroline Manzo hates Teresa Giudice because her precious “children” were held by police in Punta Cana during a brawl in January 2011.  The filming of Episode 5 was late June/ early July, 2011, just to keep things in perspective.

But Teresa’s kids should be off limits ... Caroline, along with the passive-aggressive Jacqueline Laurita,  basically ganged up on a little girl ... after the games, they assumed what was going on with Gia, without asking. In every episode , beginning with the Season 3 reunion,  Caroline stated she was never really friends with Teresa.  So, doesn’t that mean you leave the child of your enemy alone, and go get her mother, as requested?  Did Caroline know Teresa had been slated for Celebrity Apprentice by this time, not her or her boring ass Albie?  HMMM.......

CAROLINE NEVER CONSIDERED FOR CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

Gia should not have sassed Caroline and Jacqueline. Children as savvy as Gia do know, from years of handling non-evolved grandparents, a drunken stupid father, teachers, an absent mother and three sisters, that sometimes you don’t say anything. But she knows they hate her mother, so even though she can’t articulate it, she knew they had an agenda. 

Jacqueline and the book? No wonder Ashley Holmes has turned out like she has. By the way, rumor has it she is back in Las Vegas with her relatives, having run out of money in Los Angeles.

Teresa comes in and Caroline lies and says "I'm telling her you are having fun with Uncle Joe “ Then when Gia tells the truth, she lies again,  by saying  no one was reprimanding her.  Caroline then tells  Teresa she said "let's go out on the deck and get Mommy" That was a lie.

The jury is still out on Teresa's kids but spare me from either Caroline or Jacqueline giving parental advice given the loathsome specimens they have spawned. Prince Albie Manzo, Chris Manzo and Lauren Manzo are just lazy famewhores living on Bravo TV’s dime.  And Ashley Holmes? Please.

Why call out Caroline? Because she doesn’t explain, she pontificates. In the meantime:

• Boys are perfect no matter how they look, but girls must be thin? Greggy Bennett’s only role on the show is to pick on Lauren.
• Caroline and her revisionist history. Before her lap-band surgery between Season 2 and 3, Caroline was quite over-weight for her height.

DINA MANZO'S WEDDING...check out Caroline’s weight

Why are so many so-called adults calling out Gia personally, attacking an 11 year old who has no choice ?  Too vicious for me, but predictable. Not saying Teresa doesn’t share blame, Gia should not be on twitter.

The largest share of the blame goes to Bravo TV and Andy Cohen.  They know the harm caused by featuring minor children on screen, do they care? Hell to the no.  They  inadvertently attacked Gia on Watch What Happens, Live!  with that stupid poll.

Does this season just get uglier and uglier?  Looks like it. I stopped watching and blogging about Basketball Wives after Season 1, the same could happen here.

Slayte Peterson: An Angry Young Man

Slayte Peterson, the son of George and Gina Peterson, the step-son  of Lauri Waring, wrote this in response to the article about Lauri seeking more child-support from ex Phil Waring:

 

“THIS IS SLAYTE!!! Not an imposter, the Real deal! I am George's EX son. Lauri is nothing but a golddigging bimbo and none of our family members like her or want her around. She does nothing in our home but check herself out on the internet and is so full of herself. Both her and George think they are Real Celebrities! They are a joke! She is the evil step mother from hell and nobody can stand her. I ran away from home 6 months ago because of the abuse George has done to me and my SISTERS! Before that he had me sent away because I didn’t want to be beat by him anymore and wanted to stay with my mom. Guess what George and Lauri, I am 18 years old now and you can't keep me from being heard now. You made sure that our lives were miserable these last few years while you pretended to be the great people that you aren’t, boy do I have a story to tell!!!! I want the World to know the REAL TRUTH about your fake Brady Bunch and the way you cuss at us all and the monsters that you are. I am Free now, but my sisters aren't!! They don't deserve to live like this until they are 18!! Why don't you tell the truth about what you did to us and my mom! You had everything George and you lost it all because you are an evil control freak who beats his kids till we do exactly what he wants us to do.
Stay Tuned.”

We will, Slayte.

Jacqueline Laurita: In a Nest of Vipers

Bravo filmed The Real Housewives of New Jersey over a year ago. There was some legal glitch in the production, so the show debuted last week.

That being said, Jacqueline Laurita is in a trick bag. Being truly sweet and caring has its price when the family you married into behave like a cross between The Sopranos and “Goodfellas”.

Run Jackie run. She literally ran from Dina Manzo during the party at the Brownstone. She was so afraid of displeasing both Caroline and Dina.

Then, there’s the friendship with Danielle Staub, the hot tranny mess trying to insinuate herself into the family through Jackie.  Maybe she thinks Caroline Manzo will arrange a marriage for her with another stray Manzo brother, like she did for Dina. Talk about a triangle!

The four miscarriage story definitely pulled at the heart strings. It may have been the most genuine moment in all the Housewives franchise. It certainly wasn’t Lauri Waring shedding crocodile tears over Josh's latest run-in with the law, or Kelly KILLOREN Bensimon pretending to cry over her “good name”.

The good news: Jacqueline Larita is expecting a son the second week of June! A link to her Bravo blog is on my Twitter.

Congratulations, Jacqueline!

Josh Waring Back in Jail

This has been confirmed

lauri waring

Josh Waring, the son of Real Housewife Lauri Waring Peterson, is back in jail

Inmate Name:
WARING , JOSHUA MICHAEL

Date of Birth:
12-20-1988
Next Appearance Date:
05-20-2009

Sex:
Male
Next Appearance Court:
CENTRAL SUPERIOR COURT

Race:
White
Custody Status:
In Custody

Height:
6' 01"
Bail Amount:
$ 0.00

Weight:
170
Arrested on:
04-10-2009

Hair Color:
Brown
Housing Location:
Theo Lacy Facility

Eye Color:
Green

Occupation:
SALES

So Much Snark, So Little Time

 

These housewives are wearing us out!  Tuesday’s episode “jumped the shark’ How to hold down a “real” job and write about these skanks?

Where to begin?

The OC Hillbillies in Berkeley

Jeana, you do know “bummers” Matt and Shane!  We always thought higher education was all about learning about different ways and thinking and cultural diversity. How foolish we have been! We found out this week it’s all about looking at homeless people like animals in a zoo!  Why would a gated ghetto girl like Kara go to any school in Northern California, let alone Berkeley?  Everyone knows you’re just waiting for Hollywood to call, so you mugged into the camera for an entire summer, but you’d better call Playboy before you eat another Twinkie!  In the meantime, grow up!  Such a spoiled, entitled little brat!  Jeana’s latest “spin”:

OC Housewife

Who’s Your Daddy?

There are no words for the trash-heap known as Tamra Barney.  The daddy story was such a yawn.  Does she own any clothing that covers her spotted boulders?  Of course, she takes the Nugget with her. Turns out her relatives are as skanky and perverted as she is:  witness the cousin with the “lost mouse”.  Too skeevy on so many levels.  

Life with Vicki

I’d have jumped overboard.  The producers are really making fun of our favorite narcissist this season. Check out how they edited her Life with Vicki cruise.  Not to mention the hot-tranny-stripper-pole moment.  Or the rock climbing moment. Or the attempt to get that useless Michael and that equally useless Rees (why is he always there?……hmmmmm…) to work. 

Too much Vicki this season.  And Donn……..oh well.

Lynne Curtin, For Certain

No, those certainly  were not Alexa’s cigarettes.  It’s certainly okay to drive a Honda while your jobless alcoholic skank of a daughter drives a Beamer ( which she’s already had an accident with)   Sugar is the enemy! They’d be better off on crack!  Lynne and her Wal-Mart implants looked a little less beef-jerkyish (yes, we know, grammar-Nazis) this week.

And finally, The Big Reveal

Jay Photoglou has been quite busy. He not only posted on the OC Register, but he posted on More Absurdities. The big reveal is the information most people know….Jay and Gretchen have been together for at least a year. Apparently, he has an ax to grind.  As for the references to Gretchen Rossi",  both Pizza Girl and Jay state he was with Gretchen and her family at Bass Lake.  That’s a dark side?  Oh well  With the season ending in September, and Gretchen in Dallas in the same month, where was Gretchen when Jeff died on September 13th?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Back to the day job.  Watch what happens

Real Housewives of OC Spoilers? Not So Much

from the oc register:

So last week ended with the kickoff of original housewife Jeana Keough's big date. Tonight, we get to see who this gentleman is. During the date, the two are out to dinner, and Jeana is holding his hand. She says, "Maybe before you date me … again, you better think about, I'm kind of a demanding person." Uh oh, run for the hills, man!

Flash over to Lynne Curtin's household in Capistrano Beach. The newest housewife is having a discussion with her eldest daughter, Raquel, who's famous for her underage "drunk bowling" incident.

Lynne is making coffee and asks her daughter if she wants anything. Raquel, 18, responds, "A half an English muffin with a tiny bit of peanut butter on it."

Lynne inquires about Raquel's job situation, or lack thereof.

"You know I've been looking," Raquel whines. "I fill out like two applications a day online."

"Online?" Lynne says. "How about in person?"

Raquel complains that the only thing her mother talks to her about is finding a job. Yet, she later confesses, "I graduated in (sic) high school a year and a half ago, and ever since, I really haven't been doing anything." Way to apply yourself, Raquel.

Lynne insists that her daughter needs to have a focal point, something she wants to do.

"OK, mom," Raquel says. "OK, OK, OK, OK, OK!"

Lynne: "Everybody's gone doing something. You need to be doing something too. Don't you think you'll feel better about yourself?"

Raquel says she thinks her mom needs to "back off a little." "I do have a desire for independence," she pontificates in a one-on-one interview. "Just, not so much of a desire right now." Then she laughs, like a true slacker would.

"I don't want to work for like, $8.75 or whatever," Raquel states.

"Some of these places pay commission," Lynne counters.

The laid-back mom decides she needs to be more assertive with her slacker daughter. "Raquel's never going to learn to make it on her own if we don't put our foot down," she says in an interview.

But apparently, Raquel has had enough of this job talk. She walks away from the kitchen discussion and says, "Peace out. Peace out."

Lynne sighs and says, "Mmm. Gosh." Poor Lynne.

Meanwhile, an airborne camera flies over the beautiful, misty Orange County coast. We see The Cliff Restaurant in Laguna Beach, where original housewife Vicki Gunvalson has organized an end-of-the-summer party.

Guests include original housewife Lauri Waring Peterson; her husband George Peterson; original "housewife" Jo De La Rosa sporting a new hair style; Jo's ex-fiancé Slade Smiley; Tammy Knickerbocker, a housewife from seasons two and three; her daughters Megan and Lindsey; and "housewife" Gretchen Rossi's parents, Scott and Brenda. Jeana's new date may be in attendance as well.

By all appearances, it looks like a very nice party, with a view of the breathtaking Pacific coast and drinks being poured from ice sculptures.

Gretchen is at the party, once again without her ill fiancé Jeff Beitzel. "I'm super bummed Jeff couldn't be with me at the party," Gretchen says. "Jeff's health really is kind of on the fence right now, and the doctor just wouldn't let him out of the hospital."

That doesn't prevent Gretchen from partying and socializing, however. She meets housewife Tamra Barney's mom, Sandra, for the first time. Tamra's son Ryan is there, and Jeana pipes in, "Ryan wants to know if you want a tequila shot." You may or may not recall that in a previous episode, Gretchen got wasted on tequila shots and almost hooked up with Ryan. Yikes.

When Gretchen screams in delight and surprise, we hear Vicki say, "Gretchen definitely is an attention stealer. She wants the eyes on her … and I think it's stupid." It seems like there's a touch of envy in the air.

Case in point: We later see Vicki greet Tammy Knickerbocker and her new boyfriend Michael. Vicki pleads, "Michael, do I get a hug this time?" Michael responds, "You're so needy, Vicki, I swear." But he obliges, and the two share a very intimate hug.

Vicki says, "I need to be loved and told I'm wanted and adored and all that (expletive)."

Michael responds, "Well, you are all those things, I just happen to be a little more reserved, I think."

Jeana's son Colton is at the party. Rather than jeans and a T-shirt, his usual attire, he's sporting a white suit coat and a black striped shirt underneath.

"Last year we had G. Diddy, now we got Piff Daddy!" Tamra exclaims. I think she meant P. Diddy and Puff Daddy.

Jeana says, "He had on a 'Saturday Night Fever' white pinstripe suit, so he got a lot of (expletive) for his suit, but I thought he looked good."

What else transpires at the party? Vicki admonishes Jeana, telling her to be careful with her revealing dress and cleavage. "You might have a nipple coming out," she advises.

Oh, and Vicki shows off the new Rolex watch she has purchased for herself. Tammy says, "Oh my God, you're such a Rolex, Newport Beach, Orange County person!"

In a one-on-one, Vicki says, "I never had a Rolex in my entire life. Well, I felt kind of odd showing people a gift I bought myself. I'd rather be classier, and just kind of fly in under the radar if somebody notices it." Vicki fly in under the radar? I don't think so.

Vicki continues, "I didn't want to make Donn feel bad because he didn't buy it for me." But Jeana reflects in an interview, "Vicki, why can't you say, 'Donn and I got the Rolex?' Why are you throwing Donn under the bus again?"

Meanwhile, Tamra's husband Simon and son Ryan are having a discussion. Simon asks if Ryan has any interest left in pursuing a career with the California Highway Patrol. Ryan responds, "I'm way over that." He explains that he recently got a ticket for no front license plate. "I don't want to be that guy that hides out and gives everybody traffic tickets." Way to stand up for principles, Ryan.

What else happens on tonight's episode? Vicki's daughter Briana reveals her new life plans to mom. Apparently, she wants to join the Army. Vicki's response? "Holy crap."

Real Housewives of Orange County: Parenting 101

Why are all the “Real Kids” such real fuckups? From Josh Waring to Shane Keough, they all seem to have real problems, certainly aggravated by their mothers’ participation on train-wreck TV.

The newest kid, Raquel Curtin,18, does absolutely nothing but drink, dress like a skank, and do drugs. For this she is rewarded with a new BMW. Her parents seems downright afraid of her. She graduated from a continuation school. The behavior kids get away with in regular school is appalling, so what did this chick do to wind up in continuation school? She is an accident waiting to happen.

Lynne Curtin

Let’s hope Tamra’s three little kids don’t turn out to be like Ryan Vieth. A useless waste of sperm, the “Nugget” can only come to life when baiting his mother. Their relationship is unspeakably sick.

Instead of actively trying to instill some values in these kids, these mothers just sat back. And bought these kids love with material things. In Jeana Keough ‘'s case, it backfired……On her……, On national television. Shane is a hateful, abusive young man who always seemed confused about his sexuality, now seems to blame her; hating her and wishing her dead. What does she do? Posts on certain message boards constantly,cleverly disguising herself, with disclaimers and excuses, as if our eyes and ears are lying to us. Every excuse in the world for Shane’s behavior. All three of her kids are the worse case scenario for what can happen if you stay in an abusive marriage.

Everyone has skeletons in the closet. Most of us know to leave them there. And leave the kids out.