Leave Gia Giudice Alone!

I was unable to write about Episode 5 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey yesterday because I’m trying for a level of objectivity here, but DAMN.

Episode 5 was a perfect example of why children should be kept off these shows. What has happened on the message boards and twitter was much worse than the Lauri Waring/ Josh Waring/ George Peterson debacle after Season 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County, when message boards were forced to change the way they do business because of the criticisms leveled at underage children. Because of the level of insanity targeting her children, Gina Peterson, George’s ex-wife, would not let her minor children be shown on Season 3, and has suffered for it every since.

I taught elementary school for 30 years. In that time, I’ve seen the way children and their relationships to adults has changed. Not touting myself as an expert, but I’ve seen plenty, especially since the advent of Facebook and Twitter.

It was wrong of Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita to corner an upset Gia Giudice like that, instead of just leaving her alone.  The 16 year old girl temper tantrum of yesterday is the 11 year old tantrum of today.  How dare they not get the girl’s mother and leave that child alone?

We truly get that Caroline Manzo hates Teresa Giudice because her precious “children” were held by police in Punta Cana during a brawl in January 2011.  The filming of Episode 5 was late June/ early July, 2011, just to keep things in perspective.

But Teresa’s kids should be off limits ... Caroline, along with the passive-aggressive Jacqueline Laurita,  basically ganged up on a little girl ... after the games, they assumed what was going on with Gia, without asking. In every episode , beginning with the Season 3 reunion,  Caroline stated she was never really friends with Teresa.  So, doesn’t that mean you leave the child of your enemy alone, and go get her mother, as requested?  Did Caroline know Teresa had been slated for Celebrity Apprentice by this time, not her or her boring ass Albie?  HMMM.......

CAROLINE NEVER CONSIDERED FOR CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

Gia should not have sassed Caroline and Jacqueline. Children as savvy as Gia do know, from years of handling non-evolved grandparents, a drunken stupid father, teachers, an absent mother and three sisters, that sometimes you don’t say anything. But she knows they hate her mother, so even though she can’t articulate it, she knew they had an agenda. 

Jacqueline and the book? No wonder Ashley Holmes has turned out like she has. By the way, rumor has it she is back in Las Vegas with her relatives, having run out of money in Los Angeles.

Teresa comes in and Caroline lies and says "I'm telling her you are having fun with Uncle Joe “ Then when Gia tells the truth, she lies again,  by saying  no one was reprimanding her.  Caroline then tells  Teresa she said "let's go out on the deck and get Mommy" That was a lie.

The jury is still out on Teresa's kids but spare me from either Caroline or Jacqueline giving parental advice given the loathsome specimens they have spawned. Prince Albie Manzo, Chris Manzo and Lauren Manzo are just lazy famewhores living on Bravo TV’s dime.  And Ashley Holmes? Please.

Why call out Caroline? Because she doesn’t explain, she pontificates. In the meantime:

• Boys are perfect no matter how they look, but girls must be thin? Greggy Bennett’s only role on the show is to pick on Lauren.
• Caroline and her revisionist history. Before her lap-band surgery between Season 2 and 3, Caroline was quite over-weight for her height.

DINA MANZO'S WEDDING...check out Caroline’s weight

Why are so many so-called adults calling out Gia personally, attacking an 11 year old who has no choice ?  Too vicious for me, but predictable. Not saying Teresa doesn’t share blame, Gia should not be on twitter.

The largest share of the blame goes to Bravo TV and Andy Cohen.  They know the harm caused by featuring minor children on screen, do they care? Hell to the no.  They  inadvertently attacked Gia on Watch What Happens, Live!  with that stupid poll.

Does this season just get uglier and uglier?  Looks like it. I stopped watching and blogging about Basketball Wives after Season 1, the same could happen here.

Real Housewives Of Orange County: Lost Footage

 

OMG!  Next Thursday, BRAVO is airing lost footage from The Real Housewives of Orange County.  I must admit, I miss a good old Vicki meltdown.

And BTW, Gretchen Rossi is blogging at BRAVO again.

Technorati Tags: vicki gunvalson,lynne curtin,gretchen rossi,jeana keough,lauri waring,tamra barney

related links

Tamra and the Teaser

Jay Sends Me Revelations about the Reunion show

Tamra vs. Gretchen... in rounds

Tamra Barney on the Today show

"Vegas Baby" and Jay Photoglou

Tamra's Blog

Bravo Removes Gretchen and Tamra's Latest Blogs

Slayte Peterson: An Angry Young Man

Slayte Peterson, the son of George and Gina Peterson, the step-son  of Lauri Waring, wrote this in response to the article about Lauri seeking more child-support from ex Phil Waring:

 

“THIS IS SLAYTE!!! Not an imposter, the Real deal! I am George's EX son. Lauri is nothing but a golddigging bimbo and none of our family members like her or want her around. She does nothing in our home but check herself out on the internet and is so full of herself. Both her and George think they are Real Celebrities! They are a joke! She is the evil step mother from hell and nobody can stand her. I ran away from home 6 months ago because of the abuse George has done to me and my SISTERS! Before that he had me sent away because I didn’t want to be beat by him anymore and wanted to stay with my mom. Guess what George and Lauri, I am 18 years old now and you can't keep me from being heard now. You made sure that our lives were miserable these last few years while you pretended to be the great people that you aren’t, boy do I have a story to tell!!!! I want the World to know the REAL TRUTH about your fake Brady Bunch and the way you cuss at us all and the monsters that you are. I am Free now, but my sisters aren't!! They don't deserve to live like this until they are 18!! Why don't you tell the truth about what you did to us and my mom! You had everything George and you lost it all because you are an evil control freak who beats his kids till we do exactly what he wants us to do.
Stay Tuned.”

We will, Slayte.

Lauri Waring: No, This Can’t Be True!

from d-listed

Lauri Waring Wants More Money

This has got me confused. TMZ says that Lauri Waring- from The Really Plastic Housewives of Orange County, has filed papers asking her ex-husband for more money. According to the papers, Lauri claims she only makes $400 a month. That's not even enough to cover her weekly liquid nails (botox and Wesson is so five years ago) bill!

In the papers, Lauri states that she has over $12,000 in monthly expenses and that her ex-husband, Phil Waring, can afford to pay her more in support, because he makes around $360,000 a year. Lauri also said that she's working as an insurance agent and an "actress" (laugh until you fart) to make ends meet.

Okay... Um. Isn't Lauri still married to George, the wealthiest man in Coto or Laguna or wherever the hell they live? Didn't George buy Lauri's ass a Mercedes and some gaudy ass joo-rees (copyright: DeShawn Snow)? Didn't George take Lauri to Dubai so that she could piss on diamonds and feast on liquid gold? How is she still getting money from her ex-husband if she re-married? Yes, everything I needed to learn about alimony I learned from Desperate Housewives.

OH! I think I know why Lauri's asking for money. It's because she's a greedy crash-grubbing whore who doesn't care how much money she has now, she still wants MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE! Hmmm. I can respect that. Carry on!

More Drama from OC: Priceless!

Stay Tuned

Jacqueline Laurita: In a Nest of Vipers

Bravo filmed The Real Housewives of New Jersey over a year ago. There was some legal glitch in the production, so the show debuted last week.

That being said, Jacqueline Laurita is in a trick bag. Being truly sweet and caring has its price when the family you married into behave like a cross between The Sopranos and “Goodfellas”.

Run Jackie run. She literally ran from Dina Manzo during the party at the Brownstone. She was so afraid of displeasing both Caroline and Dina.

Then, there’s the friendship with Danielle Staub, the hot tranny mess trying to insinuate herself into the family through Jackie.  Maybe she thinks Caroline Manzo will arrange a marriage for her with another stray Manzo brother, like she did for Dina. Talk about a triangle!

The four miscarriage story definitely pulled at the heart strings. It may have been the most genuine moment in all the Housewives franchise. It certainly wasn’t Lauri Waring shedding crocodile tears over Josh's latest run-in with the law, or Kelly KILLOREN Bensimon pretending to cry over her “good name”.

The good news: Jacqueline Larita is expecting a son the second week of June! A link to her Bravo blog is on my Twitter.

Congratulations, Jacqueline!

Josh Waring Back in Jail

This has been confirmed

lauri waring

Josh Waring, the son of Real Housewife Lauri Waring Peterson, is back in jail

Inmate Name:
WARING , JOSHUA MICHAEL

Date of Birth:
12-20-1988
Next Appearance Date:
05-20-2009

Sex:
Male
Next Appearance Court:
CENTRAL SUPERIOR COURT

Race:
White
Custody Status:
In Custody

Height:
6' 01"
Bail Amount:
$ 0.00

Weight:
170
Arrested on:
04-10-2009

Hair Color:
Brown
Housing Location:
Theo Lacy Facility

Eye Color:
Green

Occupation:
SALES

More Orange Juicy: They’ll Be Back for a Fifth Season

 

from the OC Register:

 

  The fantastically frivolous five some from South County will be back for a fifth season, as Bravo officially renewed “The Real Housewives of Orange County” today.

The renewal should shock no one. Season four was the most popular yet, averaging 2 million viewers per episode, and the “Real Housewives” franchise now extends to three spinoff series.

No word yet on any cast changes for season five, but we predict more booze, Botox and bad parenting.

Real D-List Housewives on A-List Awards

Possible Spoilers

 

George and Lauri Waring Peterson at the A-List Awards.

The seven “snotty nosed, broken boned, broken hearted kids” were not in sight

Jeana Keough

Delusional Jeana Keough stated the other housewives “bowed” to the OC Housewives and stepped out of their way. Imagine Sheree Whitfield, Nene Leakes , Bethenny Frankel or even Kim Zolciak bowing and stepping out of the way!  .

Gretchen and Slade

More tidbits:

Housewife  Gretchen Rossi was nominated for Reality's Guiltiest Pleasure, presented to the most popular and entertaining individual in a reality TV series. But the trophy went  to NeNe Leakes, one of the housewives from The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  The Orange County housewives brought their significant others, including Donn Gunvalson,  Simon Barney George Peterson and Frank Curtin.  Rossi brought Slade Smiley, whom she's now dating. Smiley appeared on the first season of "Housewives" as the fiancé of Jo de la Rosa.   There were no reports of Jay Photoglou or Pizza Girl lurking in the bushes, but who knows?

Also, Bethenny Frankel states on her Bravo blog that Lauri “accidently” sprayed foundation from her air brush machine on Gretchen’s black and white dress. Must have caught George lookin’.

The A list Awards will air Wednesday, April 15, on Bravo

Technorati Tags: a-list awards,bethenny frankel,nene leakes,sheree whitfield,gretchen rossi,lauri waring,jeana keough

Real Housewives: D-list Drama

Real Drama with the Real Housewives

from OK magazine:

On Friday, the catty women from all three of Bravo's Real Housewives show descended on the Fred Segal store in Santa Monica. But this was no peace conference.
The ten well-heeled gals, representing NYC, Atlanta and Orange County, were on-hand to film a segment for the Bravo A-List Awards. Former boy-bander Lance Bass played master of ceremonies, announcing to the women that they were each being given $4,000 to shop for the perfect outfit for event, which is taped tomorrow night, April 5, and airs on April 15

Even though three of the NYC Housewives — Jill Zarin, LuAnn de Lesseps, and Alex McCord — were AWOL from the shopping spree, that didn't stop the remaining Big Apple babes from bringing their drama to the West Coast.
Archenemies Bethenny Frankel and Kelly Killoren Bensimon made no attempt to play nice. In fact, one witness tells OK! they "acted as if the other didn't even exist. They didn't look at each other — or even acknowledge each other — even once." However, notes the source, Bethenney appeared to be more bothered about the situation than Kelly.
It was left to the only remaining NYC castmate, Ramona Singer, to bridge the gap between the two. "Bethenny and Kelly don't really like each other; just like how I don't like Simon," Ramona explains to OK! "Not everyone is going to like each other. We are not always going to get along."
As for MIA Housewife LuAnn, who is going through a divorce with her husband, Ramona is typically candid.
"LuAnn is laying low right now," she explains to OK!. "We are in the public eye, but there are some things we want to keep personal. This was not something that she wanted out in the press. She's got children, but [LuAnn's husband] obviously had a bone to pick with her."

Adding a bit of class to the affair was a surprise appearance by romance novel hunk (and butter substitute spokesman) Fabio, who popped in to share his unique points of view with the Housewives. Gretchen Rossi from the O.C. did little to hide that she was smitten with the walking slab of beefcake. "Do you think Orange County girls are trashy?" she asked Fabio as she tried on different dresses.
Speaking of Gretchen, she talked to OK! to catch us up on her life since the unfortunate passing of her fiancé Jeff Beitzel from Leukemia. "It has been quite a year," she admits. And though she's currently dating Slade Smiley (who was once engaged to another OC Housewife, Jo De La Rosa), Gretchen continues to wear the engagement ring that Jeff gave her. "I'm not going to take it off. This is a memory of him that I will have for myself."
As far as her relationship with Slade, Gretchen coyly tells OK!, "we'll see where that goes."

Technorati Tags: the real housewives of atlanta,the real housewives of new york city,the real housewives of orange county

OC Casting Call: The Video

Train Wreck Tamra: Most Hated

Wow! Who could have predicted that Tamra Barney, the self-proclaimed “hottest housewife in Orange County”  would come off worse than our favorite narcissist Vicki Gunvalson on season 4 of The Real  Housewives of Orange County?

The producers..that’s who.

Even without the Jay Photoglou “kiss and tell” antics, Tamra slammed Gretchen Rossi' at every turn. From episode one until the reunion and thereafter, Tamra did everything she could to hurt Gretchen. Clearly the producers knew Tamra wouldn’t be able to share the spotlight with Gretchen.  Would she have sent her “little Nugget”son  Ryan Vieth after Gretchen?  Naw, her relationship to her “manwhore” is strange, at best . But the "Naked Wasted" episode made both Barneys look terrible.

The poll results:

 

tamra barney:        52%

vicki gunvalson      24%

gretchen rossi        17%

lynne curtin             2%

lauri waring             1%  (left the show early in the season)

jeana keough           1%

 

Thanks for participating in this very unscientific poll.  Watch What Happens!

Technorati Tags: gretchen rossi,tamra barney

Really Absurd, Really Tamra

Real Housewives Reunion

The show is titled "The Real Housewives Confess: Watch What Happens Special."

The ladies are seated on couches, and Cohen is situated in the middle. The housewives are dressed to impress: Tamra Barney of Ladera Ranch is wearing a maroon dress; Vicki Gunvalson of Coto de Caza is wearing a blue top and a black skirt; Jeana Keough of Coto is in red; Gretchen Rossi of Costa Mesa is wearing a white and purple dress with a flower pattern; and newest housewife Lynne Curtin of Capistrano Beach is wearing a purple dress.

We don't know the exact order of the questions and responses, but we can give you a general idea of what unfolds.

Cohen asks Gretchen about fiancé Jeff Beitzel's passing. He died on Sept. 13, 2008 at age 54. It's been four or five months now, she says. "His very last moments here on earth, I got to be right with him." She battles back the tears. "He just wrapped his arms around me, and he told me, 'I love you.'"

She says her parents showed up to the hospital, and told her she had to let go.

"I told him, 'It's OK to go, honey, it's OK. We love you.' And he took his last breath and he let go of me. So, it was extremely emotional for me."

Cohen clarifies that Gretchen and Jeff never got married. "No, we did not," Gretchen confirms. "I did not want to get married in a hospital room. It just wasn't something that I wanted anybody to ever say I married him for the wrong reasons."

Cohen turns his attention to Jeana. He asks the original housewife about visiting her family back in Wisconsin. Jeana recounts talking to her father and then says she had a "Lynne moment." Cohen asks Jeana to explain what that means, and Jeana says she said something stupid to her father.

Lynne flinches. "Ow, that hurt," she says. But Lynne brushes the insult off, and says, "I'm over it already. I've learned. I'm over it. It's all right. It's all good. I still love you baby."

But as Jeana continues her story, it turns out that Lynne is not over it. She starts to cry like a baby.

"What's going on, Lynne?" Cohen asks. "Are you OK?"

"Words hurt," Lynne whimpers. "One little word is hurtful." Awwww! Poor Lynne!

Cohen then puts Tamra on the spot. He inquires about Tamra's seven-course "etiquette dinner," describing it as a "dinner from hell." Remember? It was the notorious evening when Tamra and Vicki conspired to get Gretchen "naked wasted," and Tamra's son Ryan almost hooked up with the voluptuous victim.

"What did you mean when you said you wanted to get Gretchen 'naked wasted'?" Cohen asks.

"I don't even know," Tamra replies. "At that point, we had drank (sic) a lot. That was towards the end of the night. We were all drunk."

She admits, "I was the most ashamed, the most embarrassed I've ever been in my entire life, and I can't even make excuses for myself. What I did was wrong."

Cohen pushes further. "It did seem premeditated. Why did you want to embarrass her?"

"I guess I'm a mean drunk," Tamra says.

Cohen turns to Gretchen. "What went through your mind when you saw the episode?"

We can't tell you her immediate response, but obviously she wasn't pleased. When the topic of Tamra's moral character comes up, Gretchen says, "When you got me naked wasted and said you wanted to make me do something stupid? That moral character?"

"Yeah, exactly," Tamra says, nonplussed.

"When you sicked your son on me like that, that moral character?" Gretchen continues.

Tamra: "You're a big girl, honey. You're a big girl."

Gretchen: "You're a big girl too, and you're trying to get another woman naked drunk."

Tamra: "You're such a (expletive) victim, aren't you."

Jeana gasps. "Jesus Christ, Tamra."

Tamra: "You're in cahoots, and I think it's sick. I think it's absolutely sick."

Gretchen: "You really have got some balls. You really have got some (nerve)."

Tamra: "It's the truth. It's the absolute, 100 percent truth."

Gretchen: "You really are reaching. You really are reachin'. You really are reachin'."

Tamra: "The truth shall set you free, Gretchen."

Gretchen: "Do you really hate me that much? Do you really have that many issues with me that you need to say the most ludicrous things I have ever heard?"

Tamra: "No, I think you're a troubled girl."

Whew! What are Tamra and Gretchen talking about? I think there's some secret that Tamra thinks Gretchen is hiding. I'm not sure how much of that secret is revealed during this warm and fuzzy reunion episode.

Meanwhile, Cohen broaches the issue of the hottest housewife. We see clips from season four, with each housewife having her moment in the spotlight, each looking supposedly hot and desirable.

Cohen inquires about Tamra's breast reduction. "They do look bigger," Cohen observes.

But Tamra insists that she did get a reduction. She just got them moved up higher.

Then Cohen asks if Gretchen would get breast implants.

"Forever, I really wanted to get breast implants," Gretchen says. "I think when you live in Orange County, it's hard to notconsider doing it, 'cause everywhere you go, everybody has them, and they're always just there."

But Gretchen says since she's been on the show, she's feeling good about herself, and she'll avoid the knife for now.

What else happens on this reunion show? Original housewife Lauri Waring Peterson returns. You may recall, she had to step out in December for family reasons.

She confesses that her son Josh is still in jail for drug-related convictions. Although avid viewers know from the season finale that he has since been released and is staying in a sober-living facility.

That's all for now, folks! So what are you going to do now that "Real Housewives of Orange County" is finished?

Well, you can turn your attention to the awful, evil spinoff, "The Real Housewives of New York City," which will air on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. Or you could read a book. Nah, just kidding!

Here's your final option: You could be infinitely patient. Judging by the success of this past season, chances are good that we'll have a season five of "Real Housewives of O.C." at the end of this year or beginning of 2010.

"The Heartbreak Kid"

So Much Snark, So Little Time

 

These housewives are wearing us out!  Tuesday’s episode “jumped the shark’ How to hold down a “real” job and write about these skanks?

Where to begin?

The OC Hillbillies in Berkeley

Jeana, you do know “bummers” Matt and Shane!  We always thought higher education was all about learning about different ways and thinking and cultural diversity. How foolish we have been! We found out this week it’s all about looking at homeless people like animals in a zoo!  Why would a gated ghetto girl like Kara go to any school in Northern California, let alone Berkeley?  Everyone knows you’re just waiting for Hollywood to call, so you mugged into the camera for an entire summer, but you’d better call Playboy before you eat another Twinkie!  In the meantime, grow up!  Such a spoiled, entitled little brat!  Jeana’s latest “spin”:

OC Housewife

Who’s Your Daddy?

There are no words for the trash-heap known as Tamra Barney.  The daddy story was such a yawn.  Does she own any clothing that covers her spotted boulders?  Of course, she takes the Nugget with her. Turns out her relatives are as skanky and perverted as she is:  witness the cousin with the “lost mouse”.  Too skeevy on so many levels.  

Life with Vicki

I’d have jumped overboard.  The producers are really making fun of our favorite narcissist this season. Check out how they edited her Life with Vicki cruise.  Not to mention the hot-tranny-stripper-pole moment.  Or the rock climbing moment. Or the attempt to get that useless Michael and that equally useless Rees (why is he always there?……hmmmmm…) to work. 

Too much Vicki this season.  And Donn……..oh well.

Lynne Curtin, For Certain

No, those certainly  were not Alexa’s cigarettes.  It’s certainly okay to drive a Honda while your jobless alcoholic skank of a daughter drives a Beamer ( which she’s already had an accident with)   Sugar is the enemy! They’d be better off on crack!  Lynne and her Wal-Mart implants looked a little less beef-jerkyish (yes, we know, grammar-Nazis) this week.

And finally, The Big Reveal

Jay Photoglou has been quite busy. He not only posted on the OC Register, but he posted on More Absurdities. The big reveal is the information most people know….Jay and Gretchen have been together for at least a year. Apparently, he has an ax to grind.  As for the references to Gretchen Rossi",  both Pizza Girl and Jay state he was with Gretchen and her family at Bass Lake.  That’s a dark side?  Oh well  With the season ending in September, and Gretchen in Dallas in the same month, where was Gretchen when Jeff died on September 13th?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Back to the day job.  Watch what happens

Real Housewives of OC Spoilers? Not So Much

from the oc register:

So last week ended with the kickoff of original housewife Jeana Keough's big date. Tonight, we get to see who this gentleman is. During the date, the two are out to dinner, and Jeana is holding his hand. She says, "Maybe before you date me … again, you better think about, I'm kind of a demanding person." Uh oh, run for the hills, man!

Flash over to Lynne Curtin's household in Capistrano Beach. The newest housewife is having a discussion with her eldest daughter, Raquel, who's famous for her underage "drunk bowling" incident.

Lynne is making coffee and asks her daughter if she wants anything. Raquel, 18, responds, "A half an English muffin with a tiny bit of peanut butter on it."

Lynne inquires about Raquel's job situation, or lack thereof.

"You know I've been looking," Raquel whines. "I fill out like two applications a day online."

"Online?" Lynne says. "How about in person?"

Raquel complains that the only thing her mother talks to her about is finding a job. Yet, she later confesses, "I graduated in (sic) high school a year and a half ago, and ever since, I really haven't been doing anything." Way to apply yourself, Raquel.

Lynne insists that her daughter needs to have a focal point, something she wants to do.

"OK, mom," Raquel says. "OK, OK, OK, OK, OK!"

Lynne: "Everybody's gone doing something. You need to be doing something too. Don't you think you'll feel better about yourself?"

Raquel says she thinks her mom needs to "back off a little." "I do have a desire for independence," she pontificates in a one-on-one interview. "Just, not so much of a desire right now." Then she laughs, like a true slacker would.

"I don't want to work for like, $8.75 or whatever," Raquel states.

"Some of these places pay commission," Lynne counters.

The laid-back mom decides she needs to be more assertive with her slacker daughter. "Raquel's never going to learn to make it on her own if we don't put our foot down," she says in an interview.

But apparently, Raquel has had enough of this job talk. She walks away from the kitchen discussion and says, "Peace out. Peace out."

Lynne sighs and says, "Mmm. Gosh." Poor Lynne.

Meanwhile, an airborne camera flies over the beautiful, misty Orange County coast. We see The Cliff Restaurant in Laguna Beach, where original housewife Vicki Gunvalson has organized an end-of-the-summer party.

Guests include original housewife Lauri Waring Peterson; her husband George Peterson; original "housewife" Jo De La Rosa sporting a new hair style; Jo's ex-fiancé Slade Smiley; Tammy Knickerbocker, a housewife from seasons two and three; her daughters Megan and Lindsey; and "housewife" Gretchen Rossi's parents, Scott and Brenda. Jeana's new date may be in attendance as well.

By all appearances, it looks like a very nice party, with a view of the breathtaking Pacific coast and drinks being poured from ice sculptures.

Gretchen is at the party, once again without her ill fiancé Jeff Beitzel. "I'm super bummed Jeff couldn't be with me at the party," Gretchen says. "Jeff's health really is kind of on the fence right now, and the doctor just wouldn't let him out of the hospital."

That doesn't prevent Gretchen from partying and socializing, however. She meets housewife Tamra Barney's mom, Sandra, for the first time. Tamra's son Ryan is there, and Jeana pipes in, "Ryan wants to know if you want a tequila shot." You may or may not recall that in a previous episode, Gretchen got wasted on tequila shots and almost hooked up with Ryan. Yikes.

When Gretchen screams in delight and surprise, we hear Vicki say, "Gretchen definitely is an attention stealer. She wants the eyes on her … and I think it's stupid." It seems like there's a touch of envy in the air.

Case in point: We later see Vicki greet Tammy Knickerbocker and her new boyfriend Michael. Vicki pleads, "Michael, do I get a hug this time?" Michael responds, "You're so needy, Vicki, I swear." But he obliges, and the two share a very intimate hug.

Vicki says, "I need to be loved and told I'm wanted and adored and all that (expletive)."

Michael responds, "Well, you are all those things, I just happen to be a little more reserved, I think."

Jeana's son Colton is at the party. Rather than jeans and a T-shirt, his usual attire, he's sporting a white suit coat and a black striped shirt underneath.

"Last year we had G. Diddy, now we got Piff Daddy!" Tamra exclaims. I think she meant P. Diddy and Puff Daddy.

Jeana says, "He had on a 'Saturday Night Fever' white pinstripe suit, so he got a lot of (expletive) for his suit, but I thought he looked good."

What else transpires at the party? Vicki admonishes Jeana, telling her to be careful with her revealing dress and cleavage. "You might have a nipple coming out," she advises.

Oh, and Vicki shows off the new Rolex watch she has purchased for herself. Tammy says, "Oh my God, you're such a Rolex, Newport Beach, Orange County person!"

In a one-on-one, Vicki says, "I never had a Rolex in my entire life. Well, I felt kind of odd showing people a gift I bought myself. I'd rather be classier, and just kind of fly in under the radar if somebody notices it." Vicki fly in under the radar? I don't think so.

Vicki continues, "I didn't want to make Donn feel bad because he didn't buy it for me." But Jeana reflects in an interview, "Vicki, why can't you say, 'Donn and I got the Rolex?' Why are you throwing Donn under the bus again?"

Meanwhile, Tamra's husband Simon and son Ryan are having a discussion. Simon asks if Ryan has any interest left in pursuing a career with the California Highway Patrol. Ryan responds, "I'm way over that." He explains that he recently got a ticket for no front license plate. "I don't want to be that guy that hides out and gives everybody traffic tickets." Way to stand up for principles, Ryan.

What else happens on tonight's episode? Vicki's daughter Briana reveals her new life plans to mom. Apparently, she wants to join the Army. Vicki's response? "Holy crap."

Real Housewives of Orange County: Parenting 101

Why are all the “Real Kids” such real fuckups? From Josh Waring to Shane Keough, they all seem to have real problems, certainly aggravated by their mothers’ participation on train-wreck TV.

The newest kid, Raquel Curtin,18, does absolutely nothing but drink, dress like a skank, and do drugs. For this she is rewarded with a new BMW. Her parents seems downright afraid of her. She graduated from a continuation school. The behavior kids get away with in regular school is appalling, so what did this chick do to wind up in continuation school? She is an accident waiting to happen.

Lynne Curtin

Let’s hope Tamra’s three little kids don’t turn out to be like Ryan Vieth. A useless waste of sperm, the “Nugget” can only come to life when baiting his mother. Their relationship is unspeakably sick.

Instead of actively trying to instill some values in these kids, these mothers just sat back. And bought these kids love with material things. In Jeana Keough ‘'s case, it backfired……On her……, On national television. Shane is a hateful, abusive young man who always seemed confused about his sexuality, now seems to blame her; hating her and wishing her dead. What does she do? Posts on certain message boards constantly,cleverly disguising herself, with disclaimers and excuses, as if our eyes and ears are lying to us. Every excuse in the world for Shane’s behavior. All three of her kids are the worse case scenario for what can happen if you stay in an abusive marriage.

Everyone has skeletons in the closet. Most of us know to leave them there. And leave the kids out.